On Purpose

My personal purpose seems to come into sharper focus each December. Perhaps it’s the natural ebb and flow of work at the year’s end or the chance to reflect as another calendar year closes. As the weather cools and the leaves fall, I find myself gazing inward, reflecting on this season of my life and my guiding purpose.

For me, personal purpose serves as a north star—a guiding azimuth as I navigate my life each and every day. Further, my purpose helps me weigh goals and projects, both professionally and personally. Yet, finding and sustaining that sense of purpose has been a challenge at times, especially in the transitions between different seasons of life.

You see, purpose was something I didn’t give much thought to for many years. As an officer in the Army for over two decades, my purpose was fully defined by the organization I served. Our collective mission was clear: win the Nation’s wars and protect America’s freedom. Aligned with like-minded warriors in my tribe, we were unstoppable. As iron sharpens iron, our shared focus on the mission created a culture of competition and excellence. Every aspect of our lives revolved around this greater good.

But this singular focus came at a cost. Because my purpose was completely intertwined with the organization’s mission, it became easy—almost too easy—to neglect myself and my family. Veiled by the importance of my professional duties, I sacrificed personal well-being. For the better part of a decade, I averaged less than five hours of sleep a night. I would wake at 3 AM to squeeze in workouts, professional writing, and an overwhelming list of tasks. In hindsight, I see how this focus impacted my health and taxed my family.

Yet, at the time, it felt great to contribute to something bigger than myself. My purpose was intact, my drive unwavering. But seasons change, and so did my life. Leaving the Army and stepping into the civilian world was like stepping into an entirely new reality—one where purpose wasn’t so clearly defined for me.

As the seasons of my life changed, I spent a good deal of time exploring my personal purpose. Still, I made a significant mistake along the way. For my entire adult life, I’d allowed my purpose and identity to be defined by my profession. In this critical transition, I unfortunately reverted to the same way of thinking. While I established an independent purpose—similar to the one I hold today—I subconsciously aligned it with the professional work I was doing. I’d been conditioned to value my professional contributions higher than I valued myself.

Now, this isn’t to say that work doesn’t matter. When personal purpose and professional purpose align, magic can happen. But for most of us, we are so much more than our job titles. What we contribute to the world isn’t confined to the 9-5 grind. Over the years, I’ve witnessed countless examples of this same “externalization” of purpose, where individuals tie their worth entirely to external causes like work, family, or community. While these are noble contributions, relinquishing personal agency for the greater good often leads to frustration, disconnection, and drift.

Further complicating matters, I made another mistake: I dreamed too big when it came to my purpose. Conditioned by the world-changing mission of the Army, I set my sights high. But here’s the issue—how will you change the world? Lofty aspirations are great, but they’re meaningless without a practical connection to your daily actions. That’s the true value of purpose: its ability to align your everyday actions with something bigger than yourself.

Recognizing these pitfalls helped me begin rethinking what purpose really means—and how to make it actionable in my daily life. As I've continued this journey of refining my purpose, there are a number of thoughts and practices that have proven to be helpful.

The Japanese concept of Ikigai beautifully encapsulates the idea of finding purpose and meaning in life. Derived from iki (life or to live) and gai (worth, benefit, or reason), it can be roughly translated as “a reason for being” or “that which makes life worth living.” Deeply embedded in Japanese culture, ikigai influences approaches to work, relationships, and personal fulfillment. At its core, ikigai lies at the intersection of what you love, what you’re skilled at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for—though whether compensation is a necessary component remains a topic of debate.

While Ikigai focuses on fulfillment through alignment with your talents and passions, Stoicism’s concept of eudaemonia shifts the focus to living virtuously. Like ikigai, eudaimonia centers on living virtuously, fulfilling your potential, aligning with nature and reason, and cultivating inner peace and resilience. For the Stoics, true happiness did not stem from external factors such as pleasure, wealth, or the avoidance of pain. Instead, it arises from the development of character and an internal sense of purpose. They identified four cardinal virtues—wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance—as the foundation of a virtuous life. Socrates viewed knowledge as a form of virtue, emphasizing that the pursuit of wisdom through self-reflection was central to living well. Aristotle added another dimension, describing virtue as the “golden mean,” or the balance between excess and austerity. Overindulgence leads to drifting away from a purposeful, meaningful life, while extreme asceticism risks missing out on life’s joys. To me, the Stoic concept of eudaimonia provides a framework for sustaining purpose. It emphasizes continual learning, growth, and self-reflection to ensure alignment between your actions, purpose, and the natural order of the world.

The Buddhist tradition of Dharma offers yet another lens for understanding purpose. In Buddhism, the concept of dharma refers to one’s purpose or duty in life. Dharma is closely tied to living ethically and pursuing spiritual growth. Buddhist teachings encourage self-reflection and meditation as paths to discovering one’s true nature and purpose. Buddhism suggests that living an unexamined, unenlightened life is akin to being asleep, with the ultimate aim of dharma being to “wake up.” Dharma is pursued through the “threefold way,” which includes ethics, meditation, and wisdom. First, we examine our actions and shift from behaviors that cause harm to those rooted in kindness and understanding. Through meditation, we seek to cultivate a focused, emotionally positive, and distraction-free state of mind. This process leads to wisdom, derived from self-reflection and exploration, allowing us to align our lives with a deeper sense of purpose. In this context, dharma serves as both a guiding principle and a method for harmonizing daily life with meaningful existence.

These cultural and philosophical frameworks offer unique, complementary approaches to defining and refining personal purpose. While they stem from different traditions, they share a common emphasis on self-reflection, ethical living, and the alignment of one’s daily actions with a greater sense of meaning. Together, they form a broader view of purpose—one that can help us stay grounded and intentional as we navigate life’s changes.

So, how can you use the thoughts I've provided to build or improve your personal purpose? First, start with a brainstorm, perhaps using the Ikigai framework. As you fill in the sections, continue to ask yourself why. Why do you love a particular pursuit or activity? Why is it of value to the collective? The pursuit of why is an important refinement to narrow down the overarching purpose. Next, take this brainstorm and transition it to prose. I recommend a few short sentences—something you can reflect on daily. Keeping your purpose short and tangible makes it easier to revisit and realign. After all, having a purpose is of significantly greater value if it is put into use. Finally, schedule a regular review and revision of your personal purpose, ideally once a quarter. Doing so will ensure you remain rooted in your purpose and that your purpose remains rooted in you.

In conclusion, I’d offer that a personal purpose is part of the journey, not a destination. Maintaining an effective personal purpose can assist in grounding you as you navigate the intricacy of daily life. It gives you something to strive for when life takes you off course, when you feel like you are losing touch with yourself. This season, I am making a concerted effort to revise my personal purpose and realign my azimuth for the coming year. Will you do the same?